Free Funny Printable Birthday Cards

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Funny Birthday Card Wishes & Greetings

Greeting Card Wording For Humorous Birthday Cards

A collection of amusing greetings and free funny printable birthday cards perfect for your best friend, boyfriend, husband or a dear family member. We hope the humor helps people feel better about growing older!

1) When it came to getting you a present, we said, "Nothing but the best!" "Spare no expense!" "Money is no object!" Then when the laughter died down we looked for a free card on the internet and printed this one!

2) Sure, I’ve made more trouble for you than everyone else combined. What can I say… I’m an over achiever.

3) I planned to give you a ticket to some exotic location for your birthday. But I knew you’d miss me too much. That’s the wonderful kind of person you are. I would never make you suffer like that.

4) Birthdays are fantastic for your health. The more you have, the longer you live. (got that)

5) Think of getting a year older as getting another year to shop!

6) Why do you hate your birthday so much! Is because you receive cheap gifts and strange cards with crazy messages in them. Or is it because you're getting older. Anyway, Happy Birthday!

7) Feel free to blow out the candles now! I've already called the fire department.

8) I couldn't think of what to get you for your birthday. So I figured, next birthday I'll get you something doubly special.

9) You're now one year older and one year wiser. So do some thinking and figure out there's no present!

10) Since you love Maths I’ll show you this equation. Friends ADDED, Foes SUBTRACTED, pleasure MULTIPLIED and sadness DIVIDED and that EQUALS... a happy life! Best wishes for your birthday!!

11) There is no option in birth,
So you’re best off to view it with mirth,
You’re here anyway
So you might as well stay.
I, for one, am glad you’re on earth.
Happy Birthday!

12)What? You're how old? Looks like someone needs to start paying rent.

13) Look at you, so young and so free. Must be nice.

14) It's a scary thing, getting older. But it's never so scary getting presents.

15) Just because you're older, doesn't mean you're smarter than me.

16) What do birthdays and aged rock stars have in common? Denial. Have a great one!

17) On this day... they will present you with numerous opportunities to ruin your diet."

19) Age ain't nothing but a number.

20) Here's a birthday card, and an advanced apology if your birthday party stinks, we'll do better next year.

21) To my dearest, my number one person in the world, Happy Birthday! Present? What present?

22) It's your birthday! Let's celebrate with lots of food and cake and forget you're getting old.

23) You’re how old? Wow, that’s like 5 million cat-years. Congratulations!

24) Happy Birthday. From an Old Fossil. To a Young Dinosaur…

25) Felix Inceptum! No, that’s not the inception of a cat! It’s Latin for Happy Birthday. Latin. Ancient. Kind of like you.

26) I decided to pull out all the stops for your birthday, and I went shopping for a brand new DeLorean DMC-12 sports car. I ran into a few problems, and after traveling the world to find a DeLorean dealership, I was told at the Ferrari dealership, where I bought a little F-50 for myself, that DeLoreans stopped production in 1982. It was a great trip and I love my new car, but I ran out of money for your gift.

Thank goodness you’re such a forgiving friend.

Happy Birthday!

27) Money’s tight, times are hard. Here's your f@!$#ing birthday card!

28) I can never forget your birthday because you remind me every year.

29) Why is it always so hard for you to remember your past birthdays? Because you’re so focused on the present.

30) As long as you are above the ground, another year to your age shouldn't worry you.

31) Don't mind the gift. Consider the positives. You have another birthday to celebrate, and your hair isn't grey yet.

32) Today we remind you how old you're getting, and you don't have a choice but to smile.

33) Did you turn 60? You must have invested a fortune in botox, and it's certainly working.

There are many other funny birthday card messages posted all over this website. Wishing you all the best and we hope you enjoyed these printable funny birthday greeting cards and messages!

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